


Bitches

by Scourgefan12



Category: Hellsing
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:15:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26687269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scourgefan12/pseuds/Scourgefan12
Summary: Dandy Man finds himself taking a liking to one of the new guys.
Relationships: Tubalcain Alhambra/Luke Valentine
Kudos: 2





	Bitches

Tubalcain Alhambra, known by most as the Dandy Man, didn't do romance. He genuinely could not picture himself in a relationship.

This wasn't because he was apposed to the concept, not really. It was just hard for him to get attached to people in that way. 

It was a bit ridiculous, he had to admit. He slept around like it was nobody's business, regularly spending his nights away from the Millennium HQ and with some sort of partner. Sometimes multiple partners, if the night was going really well. However, he could count the number of times he'd actually _felt_ something for another person on one hand.

He didn't see this as a problem, his lack of romantic experience didn't hinder his other areas of expertise. He knew how to get people to like him, clearly. He could read others, could tell what they liked and what they wanted from him fairly easily. 

It normally wasn't a challenge to get whoever struck his fancy into bed with him. Usually just being straightforward about what he wanted was enough, they were after the same thing, and it wasn't like most people were overly picky. Occasionally he'd feign genuine interest in someone to make things happen, but this was rarely necessary.

He supposed that technically counted as leading people on. He didn't feel nearly as bad about this as he probably should have. It wasn't like he'd ever see any of those people again, and besides, they'd get over it. And if they didn't, it wasn't his problem. It was their own fault for getting so attached to someone they'd known for so little time.

When it came to romance, he doubted he was missing out on much. In fact, he knew that he wasn't. The few relationships he had been in before hadn't been great. They'd mostly just been messy, and stressful. Sure, there had been some good moments, but it wasn't anything he felt himself wanting to jump into again. 

He was fine with the lifestyle he was currently living, really happy with it even. He was sure he'd be content with living like this for however long the rest of his semi-immortal life lasted.

That's what he'd thought, anyway. And then Luke fucking Valentine happened and he ended up rethinking everything.

Admittedly, Tubalcain hadn't thought much of Luke at first. When he and his street rat brother had first joined Millennium, he'd hardly spared the two of them a second glance. It wasn't often that the organization got more proper members, a lot of the growing vampire army being under the command of one of the other members, too low rank to actually be in charge of anything important. The Valentine brothers were interesting in that respect, but not remarkable enough to really catch his attention.

Once the two of them were assimilated into the organization, Tubalcain ended up learning more about them. Not really of his own volition, that just tended to happen when you had to live in close quarters with other people.

He learned that the younger Valentine, Jan he was apparently called, was incredibly annoying. He was loud, and childish, and loved getting in other people's personal space. He seemed to think making other people angry was the height of comedy.

Tubalcain made sure to avoid him as often as he could. He didn't have the patience to be Jan's babysitter.

Luke was significantly harder to get to know. While Jan made his presence very known, Luke kept to himself for the most part, only communicating with his new coworkers when he needed to. It was easy to forget about him entirely sometimes, until he wanted to make others aware of him.

When he did speak, he seemed extremely sure of himself, sometimes to the point of smug overconfidence. Whether this was his new status as a vampire getting to his head, or just how he naturally was, it was impossible to tell. 

Either way, Tubalcain couldn't help but find it funny. Luke had just got here, he was one of the lowest ranking officers and he was still learning the ropes of his vampiric abilities. The thought that he was superior to anyone was almost laughable.

Not that Tubalcain had a problem with it. Pretty much everyone in the organization had that sort of attitude, to some extent. You kind of had to. Some of the others were like vultures, jumping on any sign of weakness like it was a fresh corpse. Admitting that you didn't know what you were doing or that you were out of your element was just foolish.

Not to mention how high the expectations of Doc and Major sometimes were. Not absurdly so, they understood that it took time for fresh recruits to get used to their new situation, but they wouldn't tolerate incompetence.

Besides, Luke did seem somewhat capable of living up to what he was presenting himself as. He was smart, at the very least. Whenever he decided to speak or add his input to something, it was a worthwhile contribution. He didn't waste people's time with dumbass comments, he actually knew what he was talking about. This was something that was surprisingly rare with a lot of Millennium members, so it was a nice change of pace . 

Not that the others were stupid, they just occasionally didn't know how to keep what they said relevant to whatever discussion was taking place.

Luke also appeared to be good at his job. Not that Tubalcain had seen him in action, but any task that their superiors gave him, he seemed to accomplish with little trouble. At least, one could assume this was the case. It wasn't hard to tell when someone was bad at their job, it would show in the way they acted and depending on how serious the failure they experienced was, the higher ups wouldn't be shy about reprimanding them.

Luke had never been scolded by Doc or Major from what Tubalcain could tell. In fact, any interaction he'd witnessed between them was quite positive. Plus, it would be foolish for Luke to act so confident if he were preforming badly.

Tubalcain wasn't sure what made him end up deciding to talk to Luke, it wasn't like Luke was particularly interesting. On top of that, he didn't seem like he enjoyed being bothered, sometimes getting annoyed even by his own brother speaking to him. Though, that could have been because it was Jan rather than him not wanting to talk to people. Still, there were plenty of others in Millennium who would likely be more receptive to any attempts at communication. Tubalcain would know because he had talked to them all before, at least once.

Apparently though, there was something about Luke that caught his eye. 

Their first proper meeting was pretty standard, but better than he'd expected. Luke had accepted the interaction, if he was bothered then he didn't show it.

Luke had been rather polite, referring to him as 'Mr. Alhambra' even when he'd made it pretty clear that such things weren't necessary. They were just having a casual discussion, it wasn't like he was going to bite Luke's head off for daring to relax a little.

Tubalcain later ended up asking about this, when Luke's attitude barely changed even after they'd been in contact with each other for days. As it turned out, Luke insisted on referring to him as 'Mr.' because he considered Tubalcain a superior, and he thought that it was important to treat those higher than him with respect. Calling him by his last name rather than his first was also partially a sign of respect, but also because he hadn't yet figured out how to properly pronounce Tubalcain's first name and hadn't wanted to butcher it.

He couldn't help but laugh at Luke at this reveal. Not in a malicious way, it was just funny. He'd never met someone with a stick this far up their ass at all times. It was almost kind of cute actually, who took things _this_ seriously?

He ended up having to explain to Luke that hardly anybody around here treated each other with actual respect, regardless of rank. At least not that level of respect, they were usually at least civil with each other, but that was about it. They wouldn't take orders from each other or act subservient in any way, unless something they had to get done required such behavior. And rank sure as hell didn't factor in how they spoke to each other.

Major and Doc basically ran the place, so they were the exception to this. Usually.

Luke had said that was stupid, but not surprising, as he'd suspected that the people here were too stupid to know how to properly behave themselves.

Tubalcain nearly lost it at that. It wasn't even that Luke said anything funny, it was just that was the first time he'd ever heard the other insult anyone. And of course, his insults had the same sense of condescending superiority as a lot of the other things he did.

Tubalcain pitched in some words of agreement, and this lead to the two of them shit talking the other members for much of the rest of the evening. Well, Luke barely knew any of the people here, so he didn't have a lot to say about most of them, but still.

It occurred to him that maybe he shouldn't be talking in such a way about people he considered friends. Or, at least people he was mostly on good terms with, especially with someone who was basically still a stranger. It also occurred to him that he didn't really care, it wasn't like any of them would ever hear it. Plus, they probably talked about him the same way when he wasn't around, so it was only fair.

Apparently, tearing others down is a great way to grow closer. After this interaction, they ended up spending time together even more often. Not exactly every night, but close to it. This let him get to know Luke a lot better.

One of the first things he'd learned was, despite how disinterested and annoyed Luke acted towards him most of the time, he really did care about his brother. He talked about Jan a lot, telling Tubalcain about how he'd preformed during one of the jobs they were sent out on or about how well Jan was adjusting to being a vampire. It was almost reminiscent of how parents spoke of their children.

Of course, not everything he had to say about Jan was positive. He'd often complain about how disgusting or foolish his brother was, but he was never overly cruel in his complaints. He'd accepted that this was just how Jan was, and didn't see the point in making a huge fuss over it as long as Jan was otherwise behaving himself and doing his job.

Tubalcain also learned that he was Luke's first actual friend. To be fair, this wasn't something Luke actually admitted, and was more just him guessing. It was just kind of obvious. Luke didn't seem to know how to act when the two of them had first started hanging out, it had taken him a while to get used to actually spending time with someone else.

Another thing was how Luke didn't enjoy talking about his life before joining Millennium. Tubalcain freely talked about his own past, telling stories of how he'd lived before being taken in by the organization. After a while he'd gotten curious and asked Luke about what things had been like for him pre-Millennium.

Luke had went quiet, seeming to clam up at the question. And then he'd gotten defensive, saying that it wasn't any of Tubalcain's business, all while looking about ready to maul him for daring to ask.

Later, when he'd calmed down, he expressed regret and shame at his behavior. He explained that things hadn't been great, that he didn't like talking about it, and left it at that.

Needless to say, Tubalcain didn't end up trying to ask about his past again.

One thing that both came as a surprise and managed to be the least surprising thing he'd ever heard, was the knowledge that Luke didn't actually see himself as being above anyone. He actually felt inferior to most, and acted as if he were better as a sort of defense mechanism. He figured that if others knew how he felt, then that would somehow make it true and prove that he actually was as worthless as he felt. Not to mention how easy such a weakness would be to exploit.

Tubalcain wasn't sure why Luke told him any of this, why Luke thought he was a person to trust with such information. Sure they were friends, but he sure as hell would never give up information like that if he were in Luke's position. Still, he tried to do what he thought was the right thing. He listened, he reassured, and didn't dare breathe a word of any of it to anyone else.

He noticed that Luke was more open with him in general, over time. He thankfully didn't end up dropping any more emotional bombshells like that, Tubalcain wasn't sure how well he'd be able to handle more of those, but there was a noticeable difference. When they'd first started hanging out the only outward emotion Luke would show were the two standard emotions he showed around everyone, smug superiority and bland disinterest.

This wasn't the case anymore. When they were together, Luke wasn't afraid to actually express how he felt. 

It was nice, knowing that Luke apparently liked him enough for this. It was also a lot more engaging than the front Luke put up around everyone else.

He found that he really liked Luke's shows of genuine happiness. When rather than the usual self-satisfied smirk, he would just have a small grin. How his shoulders would shake with laughter that he'd clamp a hand over his mouth to try and quiet, how his eyes would almost seem to shine even brighter.

Tubalcain often found himself entranced with Luke when he got like this. He found himself wanting to do whatever he could to make Luke feel that way as long as possible, he would go above and beyond to make Luke happy if he needed to, but that was almost never necessary. Usually Luke was easy to please, just listen to him and make him feel like you actually care about what he's saying and he'd be absolutely thrilled.

This worked out pretty well for Tubalcain, since he actually _did_ care about what Luke said to him. Luke was legitimately interesting and fun, how could he not care?

It never occurred to him that maybe it wasn't normal to be so enchanted by Luke. That perhaps regularly finding his mind wandering to how cute Luke was wasn't normal. That zoning out while Luke was talking because he was so focused on how pretty the other was wasn't really something that usually happened between friends.

When these things happened, he didn't bother thinking about them. They didn't seem that strange. If he found himself almost giddy at the sound of Luke's laughter, then that was clearly just him being happy about his friend being happy. If he felt butterflies fluttering in him when the two of them stood close enough together to brush shoulders, that was just because he hadn't had any platonic physical affection in a while. All these things had very simple explanations.

It wasn't until he found himself thinking about how nice it would probably be to kiss Luke that he realized how abnormal his feelings were. This shocked all thought from his brain for a few moments, and once he managed to form coherent thoughts again, he frantically reexamined the interactions he'd been having with Luke. He already knew the truth he'd find, but still.

The realization that he was attracted to the person who had come to be his best friend was jarring. Even more so was the fact that it was romantic attraction of all things, that was so fucked up. If it was purely sexual then that would be fine, he'd be able to handle it, he felt that way towards plenty of other people in the organization already. But wanting to do shit like hold someone and go on dates with them on top of that? That was too much.

He spent a lot of time trying to convince the feelings to just go away. Reminding himself of how his previous relationships had gone and telling himself that he couldn't possibly want a repeat of any of those. Telling himself that Luke was his friend, and acting on how he felt would most definitely ruin things between them.

This didn't work, not even a little. All it managed to do was stress him out about the situation even more. Obviously he was going to need a different approach.

Ignoring it was the second thing he tried. As it turned out, he was very bad at this as well. The best he could manage was acting normal around Luke and submerging himself in thoughts of his feelings once again when he was alone.

This left him with no easy solution, or so he'd thought. He'd thought that he'd just have to live like this and hope that the feelings would go away on their own.

The actual solution ended up hitting him eventually though, when he realized something that he should have noticed ages ago. That being the fact that Luke liked him too.

Really, it was obvious. How he hadn't realized sooner was insane. He was used to people being attracted to him, he normally had bitches flocking to him like it was nothing. He knew the signs, and Luke showed every one of them.

After some debate, he decided to give the whole relationship thing a shot. Just one more. They both liked each other, they already got along well enough as friends, surely it couldn't be too bad.

He decided to kick things off by flirting with Luke. Using the skills he picked up by faking being interested in people, except for someone he actually was interested in, it seemed genius.

Sure, he could just come out and tell Luke how he felt, but that might be coming on too strong. Not to mention how long it had been since he'd done something like that, he was sure he'd mess it up in some way.

By doing this, he learned that Luke was incredibly oblivious. It was as adorable as it was frustrating. Tubalcain could be as cliché and obvious about it as he wanted and, while Luke would clearly enjoy the attention, usually getting visibly flustered, he would never attempt to do or say anything in return.

Tubalcain continued on like this for a while, partially to see how embarrassed he could make Luke, but also to see if Luke would ever actually pick up on what was happening. 

Part of Tubalcain wondered if Luke knew exactly what he was doing and just liked making Tubalcain fawn over him. That didn't sound like something he'd do, but it was hard to believe someone could be so clueless.

Either way, it seemed he had no choice but to actually be straightforward and talk about how he felt. Otherwise, this was going nowhere.

So, he gathered up his courage and just... did it. And then quickly found out he was worrying over nothing.

Luke was genuinely surprised at his confession. Apparently, he'd thought that Tubalcain repeatedly and openly hitting on him was just something friends did, and hadn't considered the possibility that there was anything else to it. He'd actually felt sort of guilty for liking Tubalcain, assuming that developing feelings for a close friend was weird and creepy.

This was wonderful news. Tubalcain wasn't sure why he didn't just do this in the first place. What had he even been worried about? Whatever it was, it was stupid. 

Now all he had to worry about was being a good boyfriend, which... wasn't something he had a great track record of, but he'd manage. For Luke, he'd try.

**Author's Note:**

> *just starts crying* you both are so stupid...
> 
> I can't tell if this is any good, but I needed to write some DandyLuke b/c I love the thought of them together. Also sort of used this as an excuse to explore Dandy Man's character. This man shows up for like 15 minutes tops & there's almost nothing there, but I love him


End file.
